Managing Life’s Transitions

You don’t need to be an athlete to benefit from a coach’s advice. Whether you’re facing a transition in life or just want to function better, you too may benefit from working with a coach — a life coach.

When Joe Martinez started to transition the management responsibilities at his company to his oldest daughter, he made a discovery: He suddenly had free time and had no idea how to spend it. Martinez had spent the past 25 years focused on helping the company grow. He had little time to devote to anything outside his family and his business, and now that was changing.

With his wealth transfer plan in place, his investments in order and his family’s financial future secure, Martinez realized he stood at the threshold of a new stage in his life, and wasn’t sure which direction he wanted to go. To explore his options, Martinez decided to work with a life coach.

Thriving in Times of Change
Life coaches are professionals who work with clients to help them determine and achieve their personal goals. Many people consult with life coaches during transitional periods because the choices at those times are overwhelming, says Patrick Williams, Ed.D., founder of the Institute for Life Coach Training in Plano, Texas. He makes the distinction between “unchosen changes,” such as having to address the aftermath of an accident or the death of a spouse, with “chosen changes,” such as deciding to sell your business or exploring new career opportunities. Not surprisingly, Williams says an unchosen change is harder to deal with because “we didn’t choose it or predict it or want it.”

As Joe Martinez discovered, even change of your choosing can be disconcerting. Martinez likened facing retirement to staring at a blank canvas: The possibilities are limitless, but without a point of reference, inspiration can be difficult to come by.

Martinez knew he wanted to spend the next phase of his life doing more than simply relaxing and playing golf. Working with a life coach, Martinez discovered he had a strong desire to give something back to the community and to share the knowledge he had accumulated during his years as a successful entrepreneur.

He was able to identify a mentoring program that would allow him to help other entrepreneurs learn how to be successful in the business world. Martinez also worked with his financial advisors to set up a fund that would provide grants to entrepreneurs trying to get their businesses off the ground.

Having articulated his vision and created a plan, Martinez was able to face this new life stage with anticipation.

Simplifying Your Life
Alexandra Kelemen, a certified life coach with a private practice in Greenwich, Conn., says many clients experiencing life-changing events are paralyzed by the fear of making mistakes. “They overthink and then take no action,” she says, adding that coaching can help clients express their true needs.

Kelemen gives an example of a couple who wanted to simplify their lives now that their children were grown and established in successful careers of their own. They felt they had too many commitments and were not enjoying life as much as they would like. One change they considered was downsizing their home. The couple traveled extensively and wanted to be free of the responsibility of such a large piece of property, but they were having a hard time letting it go. While discussing the situation with their coach, the couple admitted they loved that their home served as a holiday gathering place for family and friends.

Once they understood the source of their reluctance more clearly, the couple was in a better position to make a decision, says Kelemen. They realized their role at the center of family gatherings was conflicting with their desire to travel freely. Restoring balance is key, she says.

Achieving Financial Balance
“Transitional periods often center around money and finances,” says Gregg Yaeger, director of financial planning at Northern Trust. “Although some people have achieved their retirement goals and acquired healthy nest eggs, they often haven’t considered other aspects of their financial lives.” What his clients predominantly want to know is how to create a healthy cash flow from the wealth they’ve already accumulated. And, he says, they often don’t realize the true effect of transferring wealth to their heirs or charities. Posing questions helps.

Yaeger gives an example of a couple who funded trusts for their children with shares of their business. Over the years, the business became very successful, which had a positive effect on the children’s trusts. With the children’s financial futures secured, the couple was ready to explore charitable giving, and turned to Yaeger for help. They knew they wanted to make a difference in the lives of local children, but weren’t sure how to begin finding the right organization or way to make their gift.

Yaeger’s team arranged for visits to several organizations the couple was considering funding, and found volunteer opportunities for them to experience first-hand what their gift might help accomplish. “Many people want to see the material significance of their donation,” Yeager explains. “It helps them solidify the decision-making process.”

Making Changes Within
Coaches don’t only find themselves working with people who are facing an external change. Sometimes the client is confronting an internal change. For instance, Yaeger has helped clients see how their frugality was interfering with their enjoyment of life, and discover how to become comfortable letting go of their money worries.

“We have been able, by presenting projected cash flows, to help assure clients that they can change their pattern of spending without affecting their financial independence.” This security enables them to make better personal decisions, he says.

Finding Life’s Balance
Many people who work with a life coach want to close the gap between their life now and their vision for the future. Whether they are facing a change, want to simplify their lives or are pursuing a new goal, Kelemen notes that people often go to a life coach because “they just want to function bigger and better.”

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